


Panic

by RaphsMySpiritAnimal



Series: Monsta X - Family AUs [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cousin Hoseok, Feels, Fluff, Hero Worship, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunwoo is mentioned, Hyunwoo's the eldest brother, Jooheon and Changkyun are brothers, Military, My First Fanfic, Panic Attacks, Playa Hoseok, clingy minhyuk, family au, jealous hyungwon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 13:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20621843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaphsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/RaphsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: Jooheon accidentally finds out that Hoseok is leaving for the military. He doesn't handle it well.





	Panic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Friends. So, this is my first story ever. Please be gentle with me, lol. I know there’s a lot wrong with this story, but with some much-needed (constructive) criticism and suggestions, I’ll hopefully get better. Also, I’m relatively new to K-Pop and Monsta X, but I absolutely adore them… so I wanted to write about them. If they’re out of character, I’m sorry. More notes at the end. Enjoy (hopefully)! :-D
> 
> FYI (Ages):  
Hyunwoo – 21  
Hoseok – 19  
Jooheon – 16  
Changkyun – 15

Changkyun bowed his head to Jooheon in thanks as the older opened the door to the diner, allowing him to walk inside first. Earlier, they’d received a group text message from Hoseok, telling them to meet him and his friends for lunch. The two never passed up the chance to hang out with their cousin. They’d always been very close, but once Hoseok became a full-time college student, their quality time had been significantly reduced.

Sitting in a booth with his roommate, Hyungwon and their close friend, Minhyuk, Hoseok noticed them as soon as they entered the diner. Wearing his signature, jolly grin, his eyes seemed to sparkle from across the diner as he waved the two over. Scooting over in the booth to make room, he carelessly squished Hyungwon into the wall as the two youngest made their way over.

Changkyun was quick to sit next to Hoseok, already knowing what he could expect if he sat on the other side of the booth next to Minhyuk, and he wasn’t disappointed. As predicted, the silver-haired man gleefully rejoiced as he wrapped his arms around Jooheon before he even had the chance to properly seat himself.

Jooheon acquiesced with a playful roll of his eyes before he righted himself in the seat, as much as Minhyuk would allow with his arms wrapped around the younger’s neck.

“Hyung, will you please let the boy breathe,” Hyungwon asked with a mock sneer. “You're like a leech. Why are you like this?” Minhyuk, the sunshine of their little group, was shamelessly affectionate with his friends when he was allowed to be. He never needed a reason or excuse to give love to those who would accept it.

Minhyuk looked over to him, scandalized. “_You’re_ one to talk,” he scoffed, carding his fingers through Jooheon’s fluffy, red hair contently. “The only reason you’re not all over Changkyun right now is because Hoseok-Hyung is serving as a buffer.” To that, Hyungwon narrowed his eyes before grudgingly smirking a little, not able to deny it.

Changkyun busied himself with the menu Hoseok handed him, trying not to make his blushing obvious. True enough, at only 15-years-old, Changkyun was the youngest of the band of friends and family, but at times he could be the most mature out of all of them. He was also extremely intelligent, and sometimes too witty for his own good. He fit in well with them, despite his age, and they were never too ashamed to dote on their maknae.

He’d have been lying if he said he hated it.

Hoseok got the attention of the waitress, who gladly took their orders, her eyes lingering on the eldest. Noticing her stare, he graced her with grin and a wink, completely taken by surprise when he felt a brutal pinch to his right nipple.

The waitress giggled at the high-pitched squeal and Hoseok’s twisted face. Rubbing his abused chest, Hoseok watched her leave to fulfill their orders before he turned to glare over at Hyungwon who smiled innocently, bringing his glass of water to his lips.

“You were beginning to pant,” he said before taking a sip.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The boys had enjoyed their meals and good conversation. Changkyun and Jooheon were playing hockey with the last spoonful of their shared brownie-a-la-mode, trying to win that last bite when Hoseok asked for their bill. When he looked down at it, he smirked a little, glancing over at the cute little waitress who wrote her telephone number on it.

Changkyun, a moment ago sulky from having lost the battle of his desert war, glanced over at the bill and gave a dry chuckle. “Hyung, is it even possible for you to leave a place without someone’s phone number?”

Hoseok laughed gently, poking him in the side, making him squirm. “You mad ‘cause your hyung be getting’ dem digits?”

Hyungwon kicked Hoseok under the table, making the older yelp.

“Yah! Why do you keep abusing me?!”

Hyungwon gently glared at the older and replied in formal speech, “She can probably hear you, Hyung. Don’t be _that_ guy… It’s unbecoming,” he said, crossing his arms.

Minhyuk laughed openly. “Me thinks he’s just jealous that for once, _someon_e’s eyes weren’t on—OW!” Minhyuk had the nerve to look astonished as he bent to rub his shin, having earned his own kick from Hyungwon.

Hyungwon was well aware of the privilege he received from his hyungs. If he’d been this mischievous to any other seniors, particularly in public, he’d have most likely been in big trouble. They adored him too much to really punish him and the cheeky bastard knew it.

Jooheon pulled his wallet out to pay his portion of the lunch. Quickly checking to make sure that the young waitress wasn’t in earshot, he asked, “Are you gonna call her?” 

“Maybe. I’m curious,” he shrugged before adding, “Put your money away,” waving his hand to Jooheon and Changkyun, indicating that he was paying for them. Minhyuk took the bill to see how much he owed.

“Well, maybe something will come of it before you leave for enlistment. That’s coming up soon, right,” he asked as he counted out his money. When he didn’t receive an answer, he looked up, blinking at the looks of death he was receiving from Changkyun and Hyungwon. Hoseok was looking skyward with a slight shake of the head while Jooheon stared blankly at Minhyuk.

“…What did you just say,” Jooheon slowly asked, his words almost caught in his throat.

Minhyuk felt absolute dread wash over him as he realized his mistake. “I… I mean…” He didn’t really know what to say. He looked at Hoseok, clearly floundering. “Hyung, have you not told him, yet??”

Jooheon’s eyes immediately snapped to the oldest at the table, who now took very deep interest in his empty plate. “Hyung?”

Hoseok sighed. “…Heon-ah, I was planning to tell—”

“When? …When were you planning to tell me?”

Jooheon normally would never interrupt an elder while they were speaking, but this was too important. Hoseok hesitated before he sighed and rested his head against the back of the booth. When he didn’t answer right away, Jooheon glanced around the table.

“Did… _everyone_ know except me,” he asked. At this point, none of the boys could make eye contact with him except Changkyun, who could only look at him through his eyelashes as his chin rested against his chest.

Changkyun could see that Jooheon was doing his best to stay calm. In truth, they had a very good reason for not breaking the news to Jooheon before now. After the meltdown he’d had when Hyunwoo left for the military, they thought the task of telling him about Hoseok enlisting needed to be dealt with care... but that didn’t make Jooheon’s look of betrayal any easier to handle.

So, maybe they could have given him the benefit of the doubt this time. Jooheon had been younger when Hyunwoo enlisted, and time had passed since then. Besides, Hyunwoo _is_ Jooheon’s _only_ older brother, and it was the first time Jooheon had ever really had to experience someone he loved leaving for a long time. Not seeing their brother everyday was something new for both of them… but Jooheon’s reaction to Hyunwoo’s departure had been… scary.

When Jooheon didn’t get an answer from anyone at all, he forced a chuckle. “Hey… guys, it’s okay… Really! I mean, we all have to go at some point, right,” he reassured with a smile that only Jooheon could produce.

Hoseok looked over at his cousin and blinked a few times before smiling gently. He glanced at the others, who looked equally as surprised by this reaction.

“So… when exactly are you leaving,” he asked, licking his dry lips, “and are you excited? Scared?”

“I’ll most likely get called sometime after this semester.” Hoseok shrugged a little, seeming slightly more relaxed. “I’m not sure how I feel exactly… Somewhere in the middle maybe? I’ll be happy to get it out of the way and not have to think about it once it’s done… I’m excited to be following in Hyunwoo-Hyung’s footsteps by going early… but I can’t lie, I’m a little scared,” he chuckled nervously. Hyungwon gave an understanding nod before running his long fingers through his jet-black hair to get it out of his face.

“I don’t think anything really bad will happen. Men and women leave the military every year and they’re relatively okay, right?” There was a pause before Minhyuk smiled.

“I’m a little scared of the person I’ll be when I leave the military… I doubt you can go through two years of service and come out exactly the same person you were when you entered, you know?”

The conversation seemed to continue pretty smoothly. Changkyun however, watched Jooheon from his side of the booth, and could almost pinpoint the moment the older slipped into his own thoughts.

At first, Changkyun was going to let Jooheon have his moment to work through his thoughts. It was only when he could see Jooheon begin to turn pale and look like he was suddenly going to be sick, that he knew something was wrong. Jooheon swallowed and the act seemed to be take more effort than it should have.

Changkyun placed what was supposed to be a comforting hand on his brother’s, and he tried really hard to not frown as Jooheon startled.

“Hyung, let’s go get some air,” he calmly suggested. Changkyun could feel the turn of Hoseok’s head toward them, but the younger’s brown eyes remained locked onto his brother’s wide ones. He was, however, grateful when nobody said anything to distract Jooheon from him.

When Jooheon didn’t take any immediate action, Changkyun slid out of the booth, still holding onto Jooheon’s hand. For his part, Jooheon followed close behind him without anymore coaxing.

As soon as they passed the diner’s threshold however, Changkyun turned at the sound of his immediate older brother gasping for breath. His expression was completely foreign to the youngest. With his eyes wide and glassy, Jooheon breathed though gritted teeth as his free hand pressed against his chest. He stumbled along the wall and turned the corner, where they would be out of sight. Once it felt safe to do so, Jooheon pressed himself against the wall, trying to catch his breath.

Truth be told, Changkyun wasn’t totally sure how to even begin to handle this, and that terrified him. He’d only witnessed his brother panic one time before, when they were seeing Hyunwoo off for the military.

The send-off had been relatively smooth, but as they watched the eldest’s plane taxiing away from the terminal, Jooheon suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing. Not wanting to attract the attention of onlookers and security, their father scooped Jooheon into his arms (luckily, this was just before Jooheon’s growth spurt) and carried him into the nearest bathroom, cousin Hoseok close on his heels. Changkyun had been prevented by his mother and aunt from following them, but he’d never forget the look of unfiltered fear on his brother’s face.

That had been his only exposure to this situation, and he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do now that it was happening again. The only clue he had was from what he’d seen on television… so he would have to go with that and hope for the best.

“Hyung… please, try to breathe slower. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Hoseok-Hyung will be fine! Two years will go by so fast,” he said, realizing his own voice didn’t sound as calm as he wanted it to. Try as he might, seeing his brother like this was scary.

Jooheon’s grip on Changkyun’s hand as well as his own t-shirt tightened considerably as he dropped to his knees, seeming to pay no heed to his knees hitting the concrete. Changkyun’s eyes began to water, partly from the pain in his hand, and partly because frankly… he’d never felt this useless in his life. He could say anything he wanted to try and calm his brother, but he wasn’t positive that Jooheon was even hearing him.

He felt a gentle, but firm hand grip his bicep and pull him back to his feet.

“Go back inside, Changkyun,” Hoseok instructed before squatting down to be closer to Jooheon’s eye level. As Changkyun reluctantly let his hand slip out of his brother’s, he took a few steps back, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He couldn’t take his eyes off of his brother if he’d tried.

“Come on, Hojoon, try to straighten yourself for me,” Hoseok coaxed, grasping Jooheon’s shoulders, gently pushing him into an upright, kneeling position.

“It hurts,” Jooheon keened. “Hyung,” he gasped desperately, “please-”

Jooheon moved to double over once more, but Hoseok stopped him by cupping the younger’s face in his hands and forcing eye contact.

“You’re _fine_, okay? You’re just having a panic attack. You’re in no danger, but I need you to breathe with me,” he coaxed. Keeping hold of Jooheon’s chin with one hand, he used the other to pry Jooheon’s right hand from his own t-shirt and placed it instead on Hoseok’s own abdomen. “In through the nose.” Hoseok took a deep breath, his and Jooheon’s hands rising with the inflation of his diaphragm. He held it for 5 seconds before slowly breathing out of the mouth.

Jooheon was clearly paying attention, but he was having trouble slowing his own breathing down. Hoseok smiled gently as he continued to breathe deep and slow. “Come on, Heon-ah. We’ve gone through this before and everything was fine, right? It’s the same now, everything is well… breathe in,” he said soothingly.

Changkyun blinked at the sound of Hoseok’s voice. He’d been using the most authoritative tone he’d ever heard him use 2 seconds ago, and now he sounded so soft… but miraculously… it seemed to be working. With loud and shaky breaths, Jooheon began breathing with Hoseok, maintaining eye-contact as if his life literally depended on it.

“That’s it, Sacheon. In and out…”

To Changkyun, it felt like it took forever for Jooheon to begin to calm, but it happened eventually. In panic’s place, however, came inevitable exhaustion. He leaned forward and this time, Hoseok allowed him to, wrapping his arms around the younger teen, gently holding his head against his shoulder.

Changkyun watched the two, almost afraid to move for fear of disrupting the calm. However, when Hoseok glanced in his direction, stretching his left arm out to him, he couldn’t refuse the pull of his body into his cousin’s comforting embrace.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The car ride to the Son residence was utterly silent. Hyungwon drove with Hoseok in the passenger seat and Changkyun in the back, resting against Jooheon, who stared out of his window. Minhyuk had insisted on taking the bus home. Of course, nobody blamed him for what happened, but it was obvious that he felt guilty.

Staring at his cousin from the back seat, Changkyun wondered what exactly Hoseok was thinking. He seemed calm enough, but his lack of any movement, even to glance out the window, told him that the oldest was deep in thought. How could he not be after the afternoon they’d had?

Still though… one thing was for certain as far as Changkyun was concerned: Hoseok had never been more of a hero to the youngest than he was on that day. He’d always looked up to his two older brothers and cousin, but he’d never quite reached the height of hero-worship that Jooheon held for both Hyunwoo and Hoseok.

From Changkyun’s perspective, Jooheon was the one that looked out for him the most, and the one with whom he spent the most time. After all, they were only 18-months apart in age, versus the 5 and 4-year difference with Hyunwoo and Hoseok. Couple that with the fact that Changkyun had been bumped up to Jooheon’s grade in school, it was inevitable that he’d be closer with his immediate older brother.

When they arrived at the house, Hyungwon stayed in the car while the remaining three went to the brothers’ shared bedroom. Jooheon still hadn’t spoken a word, but he otherwise seemed relatively fine. Maybe a little bit sleepy, which was understandable. He sat on the edge of his bed, leaning forward on his knees as Hoseok sat next to him. Changkyun sat down on his own bed, scrolling through his phone. He wanted to be near Jooheon without him feeling like a spectacle.

“Please… don’t tell my parents,” Jooheon quietly mumbled.

Hoseok wrapped an arm around the younger male’s shoulders and hesitated before he asked his next question. “Do you wanna tell me what upset you now that we’re in private?” This would be the second time he’d asked the question since the attack, but Jooheon still didn’t seem gung-ho about letting them into his head just yet.

“Can’t we just pretend it didn’t happen and move on,” he asked sullenly.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea, Jooheon… This was a bad one, and I think it would be better to talk it out…” Jooheon didn’t open his mouth, but instead shook his head as best as he could while his head rested on Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok sighed gently and looked at the time on the wall clock. “Okay… well, I’m going to give you an option. Either you tell me, and we try to figure this out, or I tell your dad and you can talk about it with him.” He spoke gently, rubbing Jooheon’s arm, but the ultimatum was crystal clear.

Jooheon lifted his head to glare at their cousin, but in reality, all that he could produce was an adorable pout. Hoseok smiled down at him innocently. “You’re choice.”

The younger sighed heavily and sat up, out of Hoseok’s arms. He was quiet for a moment. Then, “Kyunnie?”

Changkyun looked up, surprised at being addressed. “Yeah, Hyung?”

“… Could you give us some time?”

Changkyun’s head reared back, looking at his brother with a genuine look of shock.

“Hyung, since when have you not been able to speak freely around me?” This was the first time- that he was aware of- that Jooheon had intended to keep a secret from him. They’d always told each other everything.

“Changkyun,” Hoseok said with a warning tone, and Changkyun got the message loud and clear. Now wasn’t the time. Not when Hoseok might get an actual answer as to what was bothering Jooheon so much that it would set off such a severe panic attack.

Sighing, he did one more thing on his phone before dropping it on his bed, grabbing his song lyric notebook and leaving the room. Was he bitter? Maybe slightly, and while he knew it was ridiculous to feel even a little bit jealous, he couldn’t help but wonder how much their cousin knew about his brother and best friend that Jooheon apparently felt he couldn’t share with Changkyun.

He walked into their basement, which their parents had so graciously allowed them to turn into their own, little recording studio. He always found it funny how traditional and strict, but at the same time, so overindulgent their parents could be when they wanted to. Trying not to think too hard about what happened earlier, or what Jooheon could be telling Hoseok at that moment, he put his head down and threw himself into his writing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was well after dinnertime before Changkyun had emerged from the basement. He knew when Hoseok had left because he came down to say goodbye to him before he and Hyungwon went home.

He’d stopped in the kitchen to eat the bowl of bulgogi and rice that his mother left on the stove for him before washing his dish and getting ready to turn in for the night. Quietly stepping into the bedroom, he briefly glanced at Jooheon, who was sleeping, before grabbing his PJ’s, phone and headphones. He made his way toward the bathroom to get ready for the night, but first… he had to find out what was going on with his brother. His leaving his phone in the bedroom when he was asked to leave earlier was no accident.

Unlocking the phone and pulling up the voice recording app, he plugged the headphones in. He sighed a little as he put the headphones in his ears and sat on the toilet, his thumb hovering over the play button.

This was a definite betrayal of his brother’s trust… but he never planned to tell him about it.

Besides… if Jooheon had trusted him in the first place, he wouldn’t have to resort to this. At the end of the day, if this were to happen again, there was an excellent chance that Hoseok wouldn’t be around to save the day again. It would be up to Changkyun to help Jooheon, and he would _not_ be taken by surprise again. He would be useful if this ever happened again, and in order for that to happen, he needed to know what triggered his brother.

With that, feeling successfully justified, he pressed the play button.

The sound of movement met his ears as the phone was dropped onto the bed and he grabbed his notebook from his nightstand before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Luckily, with his nose often in a note or textbook, his leaving his phone behind would be a very normal thing for him to do.

It remained silent for a little while. And then-

“I’m not a coward,” Jooheon blurted.

Changkyun blinked at the random statement, imagining Hoseok’s wide eyes looking just as confused. The level of raw embarrassment that coated his statement almost hurt.

“Nobody thinks you’re a coward, Hojoon…” the older replied sincerely. After another brief silence, Jooheon sniffed. “Why are you getting upset? Talk to me.” Changkyun realized that his brother was crying.

“I think…” Jooheon stopped for a few moments before releasing a small chuckle. “I think I might have mild separation anxiety.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes a bit. _No shit, Hyung, _he thought to himself, waiting for the other to continue, just as Hoseok was. “I guess… the thought of you going to the military for two whole years… not seeing you for two _long_ years… is a little scary…”

“Hojoon… There’s more to it than that. What’s the actual reason the news of me leaving sent you into a full-blown panic attack? Be honest with me…”

Movement.

“Do you really think I’m not gonna miss you when you leave,” Jooheon asked, clearly offended. Changkyun heard his words for exactly what they were. More deflection.

“I have no doubt that you’ll miss me. That’s never been a question. I’ll miss you too, but you had an attack when Hyunwoo-Hyung left too… Are you afraid of going to the military?”

“Of course not,” came Jooheon’s immediate, defensive answer. “It’s something we all have to do. No, I’m not afraid about enlisting.” Changkyun could imagine him sitting with his back erect, arms crossed over his chest, bottom lip defiantly jutting out. The thought made the youngest smirk.

Changkyun believed him, though. Whenever the subject of the military was raised, Jooheon never seemed overly worried. He’d always- verbally anyway- seemed resolved to the fact that he would be enlisted one day. He would talk about it with the same nonchalance as he would about having to go to the grocery store. So no, there was never a thought that he was afraid to go, which was why his episodes surrounding Hyunwoo’s departure, and now Hoseok’s news were so startling and scary.

“So then,” Hoseok pressed with gentleness in his voice, “what has upset you? Not just the panic attack. Let’s go back to the restaurant. You’ve just heard that I’m leaving, and from someone who wasn’t me. I’d understand if that upset you and I’m sorry… but what was going through your head? What made you leave us?”

There’s a long pause. Too long, to the point that Changkyun looked down at his phone to be sure that the recording hadn’t stopped. He eventually hears a soft, “It’s okay, Honey. You can talk to me… It’s only us here.”

At that, Changkyun felt a pang of guilt. He was not only betraying Jooheon’s trust, but also his cousin’s. Hoseok looking at you, disappointment clear on his visage, was not something you wanted. It evoked the same sickening feeling he normally got when his own mother gave him that look. He was tempted to turn the recording off and delete it, but Jooheon’s voice stopped him.

“I just… God forbid something were to happen to you… or Hyunwoo-Hyung… and I don’t have access to you. That’s terrifying,” he finally admitted. That’s all it seemed to take for the flood gates of word vomit to open up.

“I _know_ how stupid that sounds. I _know_ my older brother is okay for the most part… and Hyungwon was right. It’s not often you hear of a guy dying or being seriously hurt during training… and without us- South Korea being in an actual war, that’s all military service is right? 2 years of training! It’s _fine_! Hyunwoo’s fine…”

Another pause before Hoseok breaks it with, “… And yet…?”

“… And yet… Minhyuk was right too, and it’s an idea that I’ve thought about since Hyunwoo left. Who will he be when he comes back? If he comes back!”

Changkyun stood from his seat, starting to pace. He could hear that Jooheon was getting worked up again and it put Changkyun’s nerves on edge.

“Whoa, Jooheon, no! What the hell, you can’t think like that! You’ll make yourself sick again. Hyunwoo-Hyung is and will continue to be absolutely fine, and so will I.”

“…But what if he decides to stay longer than two years, like Dad did?”

Changkyun froze. The thought of Hyunwoo being gone for longer than the required two years was never something he’d ever even considered.

“Hell, no. Of course, he won’t.”

Changkyun quirked an eyebrow at that, wondering if Hoseok knew something that they didn’t. He seemed awfully sure of his answer considering the fact that while they knew Hyunwoo loved and missed his family, he was also a natural-born leader. He had already been promoted to Corporal status within his battalion, so the idea of him fulfilling his perceived duty by staying and becoming the best leader he could be for his country and his family, was not incredibly far-fetched. 

That revelation filled Changkyun with a dread that was completely new to him. Had Jooheon been feeling like this since Hyunwoo left??

“Is he safe?” Jooheon sounded so… tired.

“Yes, of course he is! Where is this even coming from?”

“He’s already been hurt once so far!”

“Heon-ah… that was because he accidentally dislocated his own shoulder,” Hoseok vocally deadpanned, though a slight chuckle could still be detected.

“Yes, while throwing a dummy grenade, but what if it’s not that simple next time?! What if some rookie soldier isn’t careful and accidentally shoots his gun in the wrong direction?”

Hoseok, much to Changkyun’s discomfort, didn’t reply.

“What if that happens to you, Hyung? And again, what will you both be like when you come back from service? What about Minhyuk-Hyung? Will the military harden him, and to what extent? He and Hyungwon-Hyung are both so pretty… Will they be safe?”

“Hojoon…” Hoseok sighed, but Jooheon continued.

“You’re pretty too, Hyung, and you’re soft-hearted… but at least your physique will deter people from messing with you. Model-hyung, though? Has he ever even _been_ in a fight? Will he be safe?”

Again, Hoseok was silent and Changkyun had to admit, he’d never really thought about Hyungwon having to defend himself against anyone. The man didn’t exactly exude warmth and the desire for companionship. That was mostly reserved for people that somehow managed to become close with him. Most other people pretty much left him alone, some thinking him a snob and conceited. In reality, he was just an introvert, who tried hard not to bring attention to himself when he wasn’t in the studio or on a runway.

With all of that in mind, how _will_ his military service pan out?

“And… what about Changkyun,” he said, his voice hitching on his brother’s name.

Changkyun’s head shot up, surprised to hear his own name be mentioned in this conversation. He briefly wondered if he really wanted to hear what Jooheon was about to say about him. If the rest of this conversation was any indication of what type of thoughts Jooheon had swirling in his head about his loved ones, he already knew where this was headed. The fear in his brother’s voice as he spoke sounded so foreign to the youngest. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that his Hyung was still a kid, just like him.

“If something ever happened to him-” Hoseok was quick to stop him right there.

“Sacheon! Just… stop for a second! I think… and I’m saying this with all seriousness… I think you maybe watch too many movies. I mean, honestly, what exactly do you think goes on in the Military?” Jooheon didn’t answer, so Hoseok continued. “I’m not going to pretend that the next two years are gonna be fun. We all know they won’t be. Being cut off from the rest of society, from you and the family… it’s gonna suck. Hard… but you have to remember that there are still rules and regulations in place to keep soldiers as safe as possible. And do you _really_ think people are gonna even _notice_ what Minhyuk, Hyungwon or anyone else looks like?? Or how weak they may seem? Hell no! Everyone’s going to be trying to stay under the Seniors’ radar and not get into trouble. Everyone will be training, following orders and hoping North and South Korea don’t clash. As for Changkyun… I mean, let’s be honest, he’s way too smart to get in too much trouble. Hell, they’ll probably scoop him up and put him in an office or lab somewhere.”

Changkyun shook his head, smirking a bit. He _was_ smart, yes, but his family always made him sound like freaking Albert Einstein. There was a long pause and he wondered what expression was on his brother’s face at that moment.

“As for accidents happening,” Hoseok spoke again, his voice sounding slightly gentler, “you know you don’t just walk through the door and they hand you a rifle, right? There is _some_ training involved, you know.”

At that, Jooheon let out a tiny laugh, and the sound was incredibly welcome to Changkyun’s ears.

“You’re right, Hyung…”

“No, duh,” Hoseok exclaimed with a laugh. “How do you feel right now?”

“…Drained,” he chuckled. True enough, Jooheon sounded exhausted. “I do feel a little better though.”

“Good, I’m glad. All you needed was some _sense_ put into you,” Hoseok joked, obviously relieved. “Listen… Hyungwon is waiting outside for me, so why don’t you go shower and then get some sleep, and we’ll talk more tomorrow?”

There was movement and what sounded like pats on the back.

“Thanks, Hyung.” Jooheon’s voice was muffled, they must have been hugging.

“It’s nothing. My phone is always on, so if you need me, call me, okay.”

The conversation was surely over as Changkyun could hear the bedroom door open. He sighed heavily and removed his headphones from his ears before getting undressed for his shower.

As the water ran over his head, he watched it swirl in the tub before going down the drain. It resembled how the whole day felt to him. He forced a little smirk at the thought.

Personally, Changkyun never spent too much time thinking about the military. It was just something he had to do whether he wanted to or not. Anyway, he legally couldn’t enlist for another 3 years, so he never saw any point in worrying about it. Apparently, Jooheon had been thinking on it enough for the both of them over the years.

He guessed that he really shouldn’t be so surprised that Jooheon worried so much about them and their safety. Especially his…

All during their childhood, Jooheon had pretty much taken it upon himself to be Changkyun’s personal bodyguard. He loved the youngest intensely. Both of his brothers did, but as soft as Jooheon was most of the time, he became a completely different animal when he felt that his family was being threatened. Where Hyunwoo was level-headed and handled conflicts with grace, Jooheon was fierce and was not afraid to get his hands dirty. Because of this, Changkyun never really had to worry about his own safety. He had hyungs.

He made a decision though: he needed to figure out a way to ease his brother’s mind.

Stepping into their bedroom, he started for his own bed. With the light shining in through their window, he could see that Jooheon’s eyes were still open, as they sometimes were as he slept, or sometimes when Jooheon wasn’t having a good night’s sleep. Frankly, it always freaked their friends out, but he’d gotten used to it. After a short deliberation, he instead walked over to Jooheon’s bed and slowly, quietly, laid down behind his brother. With Jooheon’s back facing Changkyun, the youngest got comfortable, grateful that he managed to not wake the other.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometime during the night, Jooheon would attempt to turn over, but realize that he can’t. With a whine, he lifts himself onto one elbow, looking behind him to see Changkyun curled into a tight little ball, pressed snuggly against his back. Blinking a few times, he hums, turns over and sleepily tosses an arm over his baby brother before promptly falling back to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been a week since Jooheon unceremoniously found out that Hoseok was leaving for the military. He’d seemed a lot better after that day, but Changkyun knew he was still sad. He hung out with the guys and with Changkyun, but he had been uncharacteristically quiet. Jooheon was never an extremely talkative person to begin with- it normally took personalities like Minhyuk to get him chattering non-stop- but his silences had become deafening. He still didn’t volunteer any information about how he was feeling to Changkyun, trying his best to put on a happy face. As if his dongsaeng couldn’t see right through it.

During that week, Changkyun racked his brain on how he could not only make his brother feel better about the situation, but also quell his worry about them. He’d had an idea, but he’d decided to wait a few days before acting on it. Approaching his brother any earlier may have tipped him off that Changkyun knew more than Jooheon had told him himself.

It was on a Friday afternoon, while they were walking home from school that Changkyun thought it was a good time to make his move. He cleared his throat, though he didn’t look up from his phone, trying to seem as natural as possible.

“Hey, Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking about something…” Jooheon smirked a little, glancing at the younger before looking back to the ground in front of him.

“If you’d been anyone else, I’d have made a joke just then…” Changkyun chuckled. “What were you thinking?”

“Well… with Hyunwoo gone and Hoseok leaving… I’ve been thinking about how in my 15 years of life, I’ve pretty much depended on you three to take care of me…”

Changkyun glanced over. Jooheon looked tense now that this topic had come up. After a couple of tense moments, he smiled gently and forced a chuckle.

“Have we not been doing a good job?” At this, Changkyun rolled his eyes.

“Of course, you have, Hyung… I wouldn’t know what to do without you,” he confidently confessed, making Jooheon’s smile spread slightly. “That, however, brings me to my point. We’re all getting older… and I can’t keep depending on my Hyungs to always keep me safe…”

Jooheon was quiet for a bit, only speaking when they were walking up into their driveway. Stopping, he turned to Changkyun, looking genuinely curious.

“Where’s this going, Kyunnie?”

Changkyun finally turned his phone’s screen off and looked at his brother with a calm smile.

“I was thinking… how fun could be if we took martial arts classes? Like, kick-boxing or something?”

Jooheon blinked at Changkyun, clearly surprised by this suggestion. This was the last thing he’d expected to come from Changkyun. Hoseok? Sure.

“I didn’t know you had any interest in martial arts… the most physical activity either of us get is fighting over the remote.”

Changkyun let out a genuine laugh at that. It was true, he didn’t like exercising. He’d much rather be reading a book… but since Jooheon was so worried about his safety, how better to ease his mind than by eventually showing him that he could handle himself? Of course, being physically fit and defense-savvy wouldn’t stop a stray bullet or detonated hand grenade, but… it was a start. At the moment, it was all he could offer.

“That’s another reason we should do it! We could even get Hoseok-Hyung to join up with us… if his schedule allows it, that is.”

Jooheon seemed to be considering that. He then gave Changkyun a wry smile.

“You sure you wanna include him? He’ll be more of a drill sergeant than the actual instructor.” They both giggled, knowing it was true.

“He wouldn’t let us slack, that’s true, but it could only help us out in the end. Also… think of how proud we’d make him and Hyunwoo.”

Bingo.

Changkyun smirked as Jooheon’s expression went from playful to considerate in the matter of a second. “It would also give all of us more time to be together before he officially leaves. Maybe we can even drag Minhyuk and Hyungwon-Hyung with us.”

Jooheon laughed at the idea. “I think Model-Hyung would rather have root canal.”

“It _will_ be like pulling teeth to get him to come,” Changkyun joked as Jooheon grinned and shook his head, “but I have faith. He’s never been able to say no to us,” he grinned, cheekily.

Jooheon chuckled. “You’re right… but we’re gonna have to really lay it on thick this time. You attack with the puppy-dog pout… and if that doesn’t work, I come in with the most obnoxious aegyo he’d never thought he see. If that doesn’t get him to agree with a quickness, nothing will.”

The brothers shake hands to seal their plan before finally making their way into the house, both of their spirits significantly lifted.

**Author's Note:**

> Military:  
I know JACK about it, lol. Tried to research, but there’s not a lot out there unless you really know Korean, haha.
> 
> Kihyun:  
I love him, but he's not in this one. I have ideas for him though. :-)
> 
> Hojoon:  
Not a typo. I wanted to use Jooheon’s real name because I love it. 
> 
> OOC:  
Maybe? I donno, they’re quite touchy-feely in real life, or at least when they’re on camera, so I feel like the things they do in the story are believable, but I may have gone overboard on the fluff and the co-dependency, haha. Ah well.
> 
> MISC:  
Sacheon (사천) = Cousin  
Dongsaeng (동생) = Younger Sibling


End file.
